i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We have started to decorate penises.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
