I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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