these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
