That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
