dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
