oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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