did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
