Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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