would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
