yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Green mimosas i think yes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
