you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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