so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
