Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
