theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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