he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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