I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize