just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
