I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
