yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
