I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize