TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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