New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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