I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
