Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
