he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
