He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
