He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize