i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
