I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize