shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
