It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
