Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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