dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize