dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
