I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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