Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
