I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
