he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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