There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
