so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
