hell yes lets make some ravioli
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
