You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
