At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
