I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
