I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Couch. On fire.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
