thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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