My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
