Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
