you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
