Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
