why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
