I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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