The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
