YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
