garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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