Will you blow on my dice?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
